I love my job!

Ok, so my sister Ann sent this to me.  I was having a bad day when I recieved it in my email inbox.  If you don’t laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!   This is even funnier when you realize it’s real!  Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.
I LOVE MY JOB
Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana .  He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.  Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.  She then sent it to radio station 103.5 on FM dial in Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.  
Needless to say, she won.  Read his letter below.
~Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.  Last week I had a bad day at the office.  I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it’s not so badafter all.  Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.  As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.  I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wet suit.  This time of year the water is quite cool.  So what we do to keep warm is this…We have a d iesel powered industrial water heater.  This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.  It heats it to a delightful temperature.  It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.  Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I’ve used it several times with no complaints.  What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.  This floods my whole suit with warm water.  It’s like working in a Jacuzzi.  Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.  So, of course, I scratched it.  This only made things worse.  Within a few seconds my butt started to burn.  I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.  In agony I realized what had happened.  The  hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don’t have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn’t stick to it, however, the crack of my backside was not as fortunate.  When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my hind end.  I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.  His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing  hysterically.  Needless to say, I aborted the dive.  I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.  When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.  As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.  The cream put the fire out, but I couldn’t use the bathroom for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your backside.  Now repeat to yourself, ‘I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.’ 
Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?   May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!  

About asciotti

Please keep in mind that I never grew up on a farm, lived in the city or its suburbs all my life. Many farmers out there will find this blog a hoot as I stumble through the every day life of running a farm (most of the time...all by myself).
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