I’m Officially a Country Girl Now!

Ok, so we had the AI clinic this past Saturday with Geoff Masterman of Superior Semen works at the Borden farm.  Those of you that were there, witnessed Vince and I intently listening to every word, taking notes, and practicing on a doe.  We had our buck collected, semen tank inventoried, purchased an AI kit, and left feeling confident we knew what we were doing and that we most defiantly could AI a doe at home.
Sure enough, as I thought, 2 of our does were in flaming heat today.  We thought they might be coming into heat yesterday.  Following the instructions given we waited until this evening to AI one of the does.
With AI kit, semen tank, and a doe ready on the stand.  We quickly re-read the instructions to familiarize ourselves with the procedure.  My job is to insert the gun through the cervix.  I have my handy dandy LED light, see the cervix, and begin trying to get through the first cervical ring.  My doe is wonderful, just eating her food, and could careless.  What seemed like forever, I finally get it through the first ring, then the 2nd, and 3rd, etc.  I tell Vince, with confidence, get the semen.
No kidding it must have taken him 10 minutes to get the semen out of the tank.  He just about got frostbite on his fingers, he is swearing like a sailor, and my poor doe is now looking around like “what the bleep is going on here”.  He runs out of the barn, screaming and whistling towards the house for Mikey to come help him.  (Mikey is my 13 year old son who took the AI course with us, our daughter wants nothing to do with it).  Mikey comes down to the barn to help guide us, refresh our memory, and help his Dad get the semen out of the tank.  Vince now realizes the warm water bath is too cool.  Off to the house he runs to get warm water in the cup.  All the while, I am standing with the speculum inside the doe, and the sheath inside her cervix, apologizing to her and tell her he is just a dumb man.
He comes running back in the barn, FINALLY gets the semen out, plops it into the cup, and begins counting, “1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, etc.”  He prepares the gun all the while counting Mississippi’s.  He inserts the gun into the sheath and bingo, she is inseminated.
I don’t know if she will settle or not but we did it all by ourselves.  It took A LOT longer without Geoff there to guide us.  Poor Vince’s nerves are shot.  He actually broke a sweat AI’ing a doe.  We used a straw of Anointed Ikon Emulation and are hoping that they don’t come out looking like some weird three headed freaky Nubian goat.
Now the funny part…the doe’s name…Mistake!  We figured she would be a good one to practice on.  She got an extra bit of grain ration for being such a good sport, and a big hug & kiss from me as well.
Believe me, if we can Artificially Inseminate a goat, anyone can! 
Four years in the country, overalls, mud on my boots, tractor dents in my vehicle, the smell of buck permantly on my clothes, and an array of Carhartts clothing…but I’m still a city girl it would seem to the locals.  If this doesn’t qualify me as a country girl, then I am sorry, nothing ever will. 
Ok, go to the bathroom now before you wet your pants laughing.

About asciotti

Please keep in mind that I never grew up on a farm, lived in the city or its suburbs all my life. Many farmers out there will find this blog a hoot as I stumble through the every day life of running a farm (most of the time...all by myself).
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1 Response to I’m Officially a Country Girl Now!

  1. Pingback: ABC’s Wife Swap « Bada Bing Farm

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